Circle the Wagons…

Tonight I visited my cousins whose son died unexpectedly…there was tremendous sadness, but it was wrapped in a protective cocoon of loving family and friends. It’s an uplifting feeling to see people circle the wagons, and provide a safe space for loved ones to openly share their enormous feelings of grief and despair. “It’s not fair for a parent to lose a son…I just don’t understand it…” are comments I heard repeatedly…It was heart -breaking…

My rabbi once said in a sermon (after he has lost his daughter) Life is not fair, but we can make it more fair for somebody else.

I was grateful that I carved out the time to lean into their needs…and listen, hug, and provide comfort in any way that I could…

…and when I got home…I hugged my son…with love and gratitude…



11 thoughts on “Circle the Wagons…

  1. “Circle the wagons” is a great metaphor to bring out for this experience. You gave us that feeling of creating loving space. I also appreciate your quote from your rabbi. It is so hard to know what to say after “Life is not fair.”


  2. Sorry to hear this. When I was a kid and complained that something wasn’t fair, my mother often said “Life is not fair”. I wish she had added, your rabbi’s ending. The next time I find myself channelling my mother, I will add. “but we can make it more fair for somebody else.”


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